and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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