she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
