carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
