Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
