Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
