i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
