$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
