your thong is hanging out like whoa
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
