dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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