now i know why i became what i already was.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
