I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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