How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
