Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
