I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
