I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
