Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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