matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
