Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
