isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
