69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
