my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
