I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
