You can't motorboat a personality
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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