I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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