I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You may now shotgun with the bride
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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