Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
