and my herpes radar will keep us safe
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
