this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
