It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
