Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
