try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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