waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
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