Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
