I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
