Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
