You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
