those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
