Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
