I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
