I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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