Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
