so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
