i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
