thus making me awesome and them whores
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
