I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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