Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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