***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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