yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
