based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He has the fingertips of a God
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