It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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